I hate that I have no friends here. I hate feeling so alone. I hate getting my hopes up. I hate never being invited. I hate always planning.

Just face it. No one really wants you.

This is the life I lead.

I live by someone else's standards. But I refuse to give up my own.
I walk a rocky path. But it is dull and smooth.
Alone and yet never alone. Lonely and always surrounded.
Feeling like I have two lives. Feeling like one was a dream.
Doubting who I am. Knowing what I stand for.
Waiting for the Fall. Waiting for the Winter. Waiting for the Spring.
Always Waiting.
Feeling insecure. Mistaken for over confident.
Not happy. Not sad. Not content.
I have control over everything in my life. I have no control of anything.
Wants to love someone. Doesn't want to love someone who already loves.

"If you want me leave me. Electric Chapel"-Lady Gaga

My birthday

Today wasn't a bad day but it wasn't Particularly good.
The plans I had for today got canceled. And I was so looking forward to it. My dad bought me a 5 carat diamond necklace but I'm just not the jewelry kind of girl. It was nice but not that much thought was put in it I felt if he thought I would rather have that than an airsoft gun. I got a DVD and a wii game. Birthdays have never been that great. I look forward to them so much and for what? Disappointment.

Been replaced.

You would pick her over me in a heartbeat.
You make me feel like I'm now second best.
You don't tell me that you love me like you used to.
And I don't think the best gets last.
Something changed. Some how things got rearranged. Some how I got erased.
Now I'm lost just hoping to be found and go back to the way things used to be.
But I've been replaced, I've been swapped and there seems to be no way coming back.

I have been replaced.

If something you need done doesn't work around my schedule then I am not going to help you.